The Game
The Music started and we stormed out of the locker room like bats out of hell. Yelling, clapping, and running we got warmed up and ready for the biggest game of our lives. In line drills, everybody was working as hard as possible; we jumped extra high for rebounds and shot extraordinarily. Part of the warm up itself is to show the other team on the other side of the court that we were not there to mess around. High fives and chest bumps were being exchanged all over the court. The intensity level was through the roof. We were so excited that most of us felt nearly invincible.
It was time for the tip; everyone in the room came into a great silence. The Ball was tossed up and between the two teams it was hard to tell who wanted the win more. The First half was brutal. It seemed every time there was a possession somebody went to the line. This was a sure sign that the game would come out to be a hard fought battle. At the end of the first half, I received a pass and I knew this was my time to shine. I reverted back to the mechanics and took the shot. It seemed like an eternity while the ball flew through the air towards the basket. The ball finally made it and went right in. The other coach called a time out in fury realizing that we had just went on an unanswered streak.
After halftime we came out again with the same passion. We were down by two and realized that this was the last chance we had to prove ourselves as a basketball team. We came out firing; every shot seemed to fall. We played our hearts out with all the passion our bodies could handle. The other team also fought ruthlessly. They came back within three points with a minuet to go. Both coaches screamed for calls to go in their favor and the boys on the court including myself fought our hardest for the win. With 3.9 seconds to go in the game we were up by 3 points and a colleague of mine was on the free-throw line. He missed the first but a line violation was called and he was rewarded two more shots. He missed one and sunk the next to guarantee our victory and a 12-5 season.
I really like your opening line, when you relate your team coming out of the locker room to “…bats (coming) out of hell”. I also love the way you described the first tip of in great detail, it made me feel like I was really in the stands spectating the intense game. One area with room for improvement was your shot. Was it a three point or a two point shot? Also, how did you feel after you made the shot, and what were your thoughts throughout the whole moment? I feel like you could go into great detail describing that one moment, which would make the reader feel like they were in your position. You could also have a bit more of a conclusion; tell us your team’s feelings and maybe what your coaches said to you after the game. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this short story. Good job!
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