Llama Love
Mid July in sunny Ohio is a beautiful time of the year. The weather is warm and comforting and all one wants to do is go explore the countryside. This is where my adventure started. As a 6-year-old boy I was eager to try new things and I had a special interest in animals. For weeks, I had begged my babysitter to take me to a farm. Finally after great anticipation she told my 4-year-old sister and I that we were going to her friend’s farm. I remember the excitement that set into the room. It was nearly unbearable; we were going to the farm of our dreams the next morning.
Six am rolled around and I woke up in a rampage. That was the day I have been waiting for. I begged my babysitter to leave early I could hardly stand the suspense. Finally she got into the car and we were off to see the coolest farm on the planet. We arrived with high anticipation. It was everything I thought it could be. The huge farm was on too many acres to count and I was in awe at the length of the driveway. We pulled up to a huge barn and I jumped out of the car. First thing I saw was a peacock, this was the first one I had ever seen and its colors and size fascinated me. We walked straight into the barn and my babysitter introduced us to her friends. While the introduction was happening I was not interested in it at all because there were massive horses lined up all around me. It was a dream to see something this amazing. I petted every single horse in the barn, which took a long amount of time but I felt it necessary. Next we went out of the large barn doors and into the abundance of farm animals. There were everything one could imagine; cows, goats, pigs, dogs, cats, donkeys and many others were cooped up in pens around me. I got to meet as many animals as I could and I wanted to keep each one of them. For the first time in my life I was actually a farmer like I wanted to be so dearly. my cowboy boots and hat topped it off nicely. There was no other place in the world I would have wanted to be.
After a long day of exploring with the animals my babysitter decided it was time to go. I was amazed that anyone would want to leave a place like this because it was so special. I cried for an extended amount of time because I felt I wanted to stay forever. To comfort me the owner of the farm said I could meet the most special animal on the farm before I left. This excited me immensely. There it was, a llama, this animal was mysterious to me and it amazed me with its long neck and funny head. I wanted to pet it more than anything. The owners said go ahead and be careful because he is still adolescent. I ran over too it as fast as I could. It was a nice llama that was incredibly soft and white. I said my goodbyes to the llama and started to walk away.
That’s were things went wrong. I felt a tremendous weight land on me and force me to the ground. I was pounded into the soil multiple times and all my little brain thought was that I was dying. Was this the end of me? Smashed by some instinctual stricken llama trying to make love to me? I thought it was over. Finally released by my babysitter and her friend I ran to the car screaming hysterically and needless to say the best day of my life turned into the most haunting one very fast. To this day llamas intimidate me more than anything and that very species caused me to grow a dislike for farm animals all together.
This is an extremely funny story that really kept me interested the whole time that I was reading it. Your description of the scenery made me feel like I was actually reliving the story. I feel like there was a little too much writing leading up to the actual story and that you should have had a longer ending after your traumatic event with the llama. Another thing that I would add in is why this story is memorable to you because while the story is funny the point is very hard to see. I am not trying to take away from the story though because you have a great description of the events. Overall this is a very interesting story that would only take a few minor adjustments to become better.
ReplyDeleteI definitely enjoyed your story a lot; it was very comical and it kept me entertained the whole time I was reading. There were a few parts that you could have added some more sensory details. For example, you could have described the feeling of the horses that you pet, was their hair soft or rough? Did each horse feel different from the other? I liked how you described your thoughts when the llama tried to make love to you. Although this part is good, you could have really gone deep into your physical feelings when it jumped on you. For instance, how did it feel when you hit the ground, did it hurt? What was the first thing you noticed when you got attacked by the llama? Overall, however, the narrative is very funny and definitely a good read.
ReplyDeleteThis was a very funny story and I enjoyed it a lot! It definitely kept me entertained, however I think that you could have use some more sensory details. Especially for when you describe all of the animals at the zoo when you are petting them, or when you wake up in the morning and are excited to go to the zoo and you bug your babysitter to leave early. I thought the llama encounter was hilarious, but i feel like you could have described how it felt more, like getting slammed to the ground, crushed, etc. Overall, I thought the story was very entertaining and funny.
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